God, Ghost, and the Rebirth of Life

Throughout my years as a paranormal investigator, I've had the opportunity to share my experiences with so many people. My willingness to speak openly with others about my findings and beliefs seemed to pull the veil back on some rather intense ideas that I've encountered. Though many seem to embrace some form of belief of life after death, many more refuse to believe that religion can and does co-exist with the paranormal. Regardless of which side of the fence you find yourself on, when it comes down to it, I want to clarify that my intention for this entry is not to argue whether I feel that your beliefs are right or wrong or even different from my own. While I am interested in learning about everyone's ideas and religious beliefs, in this article, I am only focusing on the views that I have been taught and understand today. I've met many that have completely supported the belief that religion explains a great deal of how some paranormal events are possible. Of course, this is more widely embraced when either demonic encounters or angelic experiences are the topic in the discussion. Though the open debate often falls apart the moment you start talking about ghosts, and ghost hunting...

As a Christian, I grew up believing that you would be judged on all of your actions in death. If you were deemed a good person in life, your spirit will be returned to God. However if in life you choose to not live by God's word then your spirit would descend into hell. Pretty simple, straight forward instructions: Be good and you’ll go to heaven, whatever heaven may be. Being a huge fan of the movie “What Dreams May Come” and its depiction of heaven, I embrace the idea of heaven being the place where you would enjoy spending the rest of your days, and with whom. That is of course, if you can find your way there and believe in such a place for yourself. Not only do I believe in the paranormal, but I am also accepting of all religious beliefs as I feel that this is your own personal choice. But because of my paranormal interests however, sharing stories of the things I have witnessed and documented with fellow Christians, sometimes generates either an immediate look of confusion or disgust. I’m sure they're thinking to themselves "that’s impossible; their spirits can’t still remain on earth if they believed in the Lord.” I don't doubt that some have even questioned my faith for believing in such things.

Please don’t think that I'm saying this is the only reaction I ever encounter, it is not. Though this is something that bothers me, and I want to address it. I've been in situations where, that confused look I get that I mentioned before, is confessed to have been brought on by guilt and that the person I am sharing my stories and pictures with is actually unsure about whether or not it is sinful to partake in viewing my findings. There are even people that are very close to me that have expressed their own concerns regarding the subject, and have even implied that God would not think highly of me for attempting to interact with those from the other side. However a few weeks ago in church my pastor explained death in a little more detail that opened my mind to just what may be happening here, the mystery of how or why “ghosts” exist and that it may just be all in God’s plan after all. She, my pastor, stated that in the Old Testament the body is said to be made of four parts: the flesh, the breath of life, the soul (translated in Hebrew) or psyche (translated in Geek), and your spirit. She explained that your flesh returns to the earth, your breath ends, and your spirit returns to God…Uh Hello? What about the soul? Either I spaced out for a moment, which I doubt because I was pretty intrigued by this topic, or the Old Testament just doesn’t explain where your soul/psyche goes...

Per my pastor, Heaven and Hell are not even discussed in the Old Testament, so I’m not surprised that we are left with questions. She went on to preach about how we should prepare our spirits to return to God and how great that’s all going to be and yes I did kind of stop following the lesson at this point unable to break my focus from that unanswered question…Where does your soul go after you die? I mean the soul is a pretty big part of the body I would think, to just go missing. In my religion, the soul can be described as the free will God gave you, the choice he allowed his people to have. So if the body returns to earth by way of the dirt or fire, the breath comes to an end as your body dies, your spirit returns to whatever higher being you believe in, so then is it possible that your soul or psyche that has freedom of choice would go wherever it likes? Again with the movie “What Dreams May Come” they depict heaven to be where you would want to live eternal life with no image of God involved in this depiction. So, is it maybe less about heaven and more about what your soul envisions heaven to be? Is it just where your mind strongly believes that you will go after death? Can it be that it is much like a dream that you never wake up from? Or even more realistically, do you remain right where you where before expiring?

So why can’t we all just communicate with whomever we want to that has passed on. My thought is, first of all, maybe they aren’t connected with that physical world; they are in that dream state that they have imaged as their personal heaven. Second thought is that it’s said we all have psychic abilities but not everyone is in tune with their abilities on the same level. So to break through to the “other side” it takes a certain level of mental preparation. Think Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost. In that movie it was explained that in order to communicate with the living, you had to develop the ability to do so. I believe the stronger the connection with your soul the better your chance will be to have control of it once you have lost physical control of your body. I realize to some this may be old news, many in the paranormal world already believe that “ghosts” are souls that want to stay in the physical world due to unfinished business or the inability to accept their death. As a Christian though my understanding of the separation between the spirit that belongs to God and your soul that may seek out another path, is more than just eye opening to me especially after having confirmation from a section of the Bible. 

A while ago, at a neighborhood party, a woman asked me about my paranormal adventures as if she was genuinely interested. I shared numerous exciting stories as she sat listening quietly. After I finished she blankly replied only to tell me that she felt that I was "doing the devils work." It quickly became clear that she had only been waiting for her turn to share her disgust with what I was doing no matter what I told her. I was stunned by her comment, and attempted to recover from her wolf in sheep's clothing approach by explaining my beliefs in heaven, the return to God and “ghosts” all in the same breath. I had to try and explain my gut feeling type of belief, without having a textbook answer. My conviction that a higher being gave all living things the breath of life and as a gift we were given the freedom to be our own persons. We all have the ability to make choices and to change and to evolve. This right forms our souls and once we die our psyche may make the choice to wander wherever. Maybe even just waiting for the day that it may be useful again and God returns it to our spirit for a new life. I've listened to many voices regarding their beliefs on the subject, and what I've learned is that not all Christians are cut from the same cloth. Fearing the outcome and not assuming by labeling is important to opening your mind and seeing what is not always explained to you. There are those of us that believe in God, ghost, and the rebirth of life. Therefore the pursuit will continue. 

The Old Burying Yard

The Old Burying Yard in York Maine is beautiful, historic and above all, haunted. Residing on a small corner lot along a main road, the cemetery dates all the way back to the 17th century. This site contains 75 marked grave sites of some of our first settlers and is also said to be the final resting place for hundreds that brutally lost their lives during the Raid on York in 1692, also known as the Candlemas day Massacre. On that day, a large group of natives where led into the small town of York. Murdering the men and taking women and children as their hostages, the site was left blazing from the fires set to destroy what remained of the town. Forcing their 80 hostages to walk in the snow to Canada, it is said that all of the captives perished during that harsh, cold journey. Though you will not find any grave markers for the victims of the raid, the historical society has erected a monument in their honor as they have been laid to rest in areas that are unknown.

While the savagery of that attack will forever be imprinted in history, it has also left many believing that this area is haunted by those that died suddenly and horribly during that time. And even though that event marked a very tragic time for York, it is not the main draw for visitors to the cemetery. The Old Burying Yard has gained interest from the paranormal community primarily for one grave site. Entering the cemetery on a snowy day it may be a little difficult to find, though it is there. A six foot granite slab lay along the ground where the deceased Mary Nasson was interred in 1774. While it is true that these types of large stones where intentionally placed throughout New England to keep roaming cattle and pigs from damaging graves, it was also rumored to have been placed on top of Mary's grave with the intention of keeping the witch buried.

Mary Nasson was a beloved wife and mother. Her husband, morning her passing, had her likeness carved into her gravestone. He also had a very loving message to his wife engraved under the image however I won't go into what it said. I believe this day and age it seems more creepy then loving, but who am I to judge? Mary has also been mentioned as being an effective herbalist, and some have speculated that she had the ability to rid your house of unwanted spirits. The rumors that formed of Mary being more than just your average Puritan wife and mother also appealed to the historical society. They have included the mention of the "witch's grave" on a burial plaque that sits outside of the cemetery. Whatever the intent was behind the creation of these stories, Mary has since been deemed the White Witch of York Maine. However, if the stone slab that rests atop of her burial site was actually an attempt to keep Mary from returning as many claim, it didn't really do that good of a job.

Many have claimed to see Mary roaming the lot, and other countless sightings from children reporting to have been pushed on the swings from a friendly woman that disappeared when they were done. The swing sets and park have been removed in recent years, I assume due to the peeked interest of those hoping to encounter Mary. Also there accounts of a woman that vanishes just after she places a bunch of wild flowers in your hands. If Mary was such a threatening character, it would seem that she has completely changed her ways in the afterlife. Since Mary is the one many claim to encounter, I tend to believe that there must be some credence behind the rumors. Just not the part about her engaging in any dark arts rituals. I've been unable to uncover any information about how she passed on, but typically during that time period, had she been a witch I doubt she would have been given a proper burial inside a church yard. The tales linked to Mary Nassons' deposition are mysterious, and we are left with one incredibly unique grave marker and a story. One that has aided in keeping Mary Nasson quite relevant over 200 years later.

Moundsville State Penitentiary EVP

This recording was quite alarming for us to hear, and even now as I listen to it I am reminded of how chilling this clip really is. We were deep inside the Moundsville Penitentiary, and 4 hours into our investigation when this was captured. Wendy and I made our descent into the prison and suddenly Wendy calls out that something hit her on her head. But because the cells are very much open to the elements, her initial thought was that it may have just been a bug. We discontinued our journey deeper into the jail so that we could investigate this and ensure that it was not a paranormal experience that we may be passing on. We looked for bugs, water spots from a possible leak in the ceiling, or anything that she may have just walked into however, we found nothing to validate that it was something with substance. Just to further validate our suspicions we attempted to communicate with anyone that might have touched Wendy. This creepy EVP was captured during this attempt, and to us it sounds like "Let me go, I will kill you..." 

The Haunted Franklin Hotel

If you've had the chance to read our full case on the Franklin Hotel, you might have picked up that my overall non-investigation experience was a negative one. I've had some time to think about how that write up may have influenced your first impression of this place, and I realize now that months have gone by, that I owe it more then just my bias review. It's true that I felt there was an extreme disregard towards our presence here, which was more then just a little disappointing especially after having such an interesting investigation. And at the time I reviewed it I wasn't able to sit and reflect on it reasonably because I felt so put out by the staff. Honestly, we had expected a little more out of this town that seemed barely kept alive by its locals. But, as I look back I think they know and possibly understand this place way more then we ever could have in one evening. Now that I've had the chance to fully consider all of the events that transpired that night with a more objective mind, I feel that they might be trying to protect the hotel's secrets from the people they think are just out seeking a thrill...

Having said all of that, I need to point out that not everyone at this location treated us this way. Actually, of all the unlikely people to be friendly to us, Jennifer, the lady tending the bar that night was very open and welcoming. In fact, the group hanging out at her bar that evening was also excited to meet us. Before you ask, No, we were not drinking that night, though our earlier events led us to consider it! We stopped in, hoping to meet some reasonable people wanting to share their own personal experiences... Well we hit the jackpot! Seemed like all the towns "outcasts" believed in the spirit world, and just happened to be there ready to tell all as if we were reporters preparing to break open a huge case. What had started out as an uncomfortable evening was now beginning to turn around for us. When the guests finished telling their personal paranormal stories, the bar tender asked us if we would like a tour of the basement. Unfortunately the basement is kept under lock and key so we did not have full access to it throughout the evening. So, yes of course, we quickly accepted her invite, hoping that she wasn't taking us down there to lock us away for the evening.

The basement was amazing,  if your into those creepy dark places... The exposed brick was dimly illuminated by the tiny windows leading to the street. We heard some of the bar's patrons exiting the building. As they stumbled down the dark empty road, their long shadows cast ghostly images across the brick walls and their muffled exchanges grew increasingly more faint with every footstep. Jennifer pulled down on the light bulb chain hanging from the ceiling, and finally the basement glowed. Though it didn't change the heaviness we expected to dissipate as the light filled the room. She led us around and explained how there was always a  man down there watching her. She felt that it was a previous resident, the man famous for naming the spirit of the lingering prostitute Lily. Though she never felt any harm would come from him, she knew he was always there, even recalling the times and areas she had seen him. It was extremely eerie down there, I wont lie. I have my own basement and, you know, their no fun. Basements are cold, dark and there's cobwebs, but my basement is just a gross old basement. This one had a feeling, and it was the type that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. 

Given the chance we would have stayed down there all night. At this point, if Jennifer had slammed and locked the door behind us, we would have welcomed it. The basement was looming with energy, something or someone was down there, and we wanted so badly to stay and investigate it. Having been led back up to the main floor and parting with our unexpected tour guide, we moved into the banquet room where we suddenly felt as though something was trying to get away from us. The moment we walked onto the platform both Wendy and I felt uneasy. Startled by a blast of cold air that pushed past us, I surprised myself by depressing the shutter on my camera in that exact moment. Most of the time I freeze and instead of snapping into action like I should, I tend to try to live in that moment as long as I can.  Maybe it was the experience from the basement that did it, or the sudden emotional charge that both Wendy and I instantly recognized. Whatever the reason I'm happy for it, because I managed to capture something unexplainable. As I look at it again I'm immediately reminded of how it appears to be someone there, holding up an arm and waving at us. Was it just that? And if she was waving, was she saying hello or goodbye?   

This was not the last of the strange occurrences that we encountered that evening though I have to stop here. The night became increasingly more interesting for us, and even though I was incredibly upset by our earlier encounters, I do owe a little credit to the registration clerk/waitress that we met upon our arrival. As we were being denied the room we reserved months in advance, she told us something that should have stood out more then it did at the time. She scoffed at us as we explained that we only booked that room because of the haunting we planned to investigate. Casting a cynical half smile on her cracked lips she dryly argued "Don't worry about that, every room here is haunted..." We departed this location realizing that this building was quite unique. Though unable to fully investigate it as we would have preferred, we still had many profound experiences that night. I'm left wondering why everything about this case was so different from every other location. Also what has drawn the man in the basement and Lily to remain inside the walls of this old hotel after all these years? Many questions remain unanswered. And based on just our experience with the hotel group, I don't think their very eager to give up the answers to these secrets any time soon. 

Provocation vs. Interrogation

Provoking in everyday speech is defined as the act of annoying someone deliberately; a negative behavior that most people would choose to avoid. However for Paranormal Investigators, provoking is a common tactic used to motivate activity. While I can’t deny that I agree with using provocation in investigations, how some choose to provoke activity is where I have an issue. I was shocked after reading articles where provocation was described as the act of using foul language, making obscene comments, or demanding physical action from whomever you may be trying to contact. I'm sorry, what? I mean if you were going for deliberately annoying, you definitely hit the mark, but how is that an effective tactic?

What great advancements in paranormal research do you mean to discover by pissing off your main subject? I suddenly felt embarrassed by every moment that I had asked other group members if they were comfortable with me using provocation and thought how disappointed they must have been with my mild actions that followed. Sorry no wild yelling, rude remarks or threatening unseen forces happening here. I always saw provoking simply as being a bold interaction between you and the spirit or entity you’re investigating. If you are at a location where there have been claims of attacks by an entity, this should definitely motivate you to ask that entity to explain themselves. Ask them to show you what they can do even, but I feel like this tactic is to only be used when the location calls for it. Not just as an attempt to make the night more thrilling.

Not to mention you always want to be respectable and ask permission by the owners and other group members before using these methods. Paranormal investigating is like taking a trip into the unknown, anything could be possible. You should understand that you are taking on a greater risk by bringing up heated topics. It’s a risk Chris and I accept when we encounter locations with a complex past or secrets to uncover. We are willing to push buttons to get to the bottom of the story. We enjoy researching those locations and drawing our own theories based on the history and our findings. I guess you could say that  we pull out our detective hats when it comes down to it.

During our investigations, both Chris and I use different methods of interrogation to engage communication. I think it's safe to say Chris is the good cop and I'm the bad cop. Meaning she usually leads the conversation during EVP sessions with typical questions touching on the history of the location. However when there seems to be a lull in feedback from her technique, I jump in with questions that could be a bit uncomfortable. Take for example, one of our recent locations, the Villisca Ax Murder House. This location holds a sinister story of an unsolved murder in which the whole family and two overnight guests were all bludgeoned to death. After such a horrific crime, this once sleepy little town became fully aware of the wild accusations and rumors surrounding the murder victims who otherwise appeared as normal everyday citizens. In the end there were no solid leads and these poor families never received the justice they deserved. So, how could you not take the opportunity and attempt to solve a 100 year old cold case? 

I quizzed Mr. Moore on the brutality of his unsolved investigation. Asking him if he knew why his family may have been the target of such heinous acts. Did he in fact have a quarrel with the owner of a rival farming equipment store in town? Did he have an inappropriate relationship with another woman that ultimately led to his and his families demise? I want to note, after that comment I did apologize immediately and stated that I never truly believed those rumors, but yeah, I was an ass and went there. When we were at the Lemp Mansion in St. Louis I asked William Lemp if he felt guilty for possibly leading his children down the same dark path he chose to take by ending his own life? I feel like these are fair questions to ask even though I personally have no connection to the stories. Even though I am an outsider, it seems necessary to cross the line when it comes to reaching out for answers to things that I shouldn't have any knowledge of.. I truly feel these are the same questions anyone close to them would want answered, and I am fascinated by the potential opportunity to receive an explanation straight from the source and essentially gain closure for some of those mysteries that have been left unsolved for years

Another place we felt provoking would encourage some hidden truths was at Lizzie Borden's B&B. Many believe that Lizzie Borden viciously murdered her own father and step mother, though she was never convicted of the crimes and again, these murders went unsolved. Many remain convinced that it was Lizzie that had committed these crimes, and the people from Fall River felt that there was more to the story then just an epic failure of justice by the local government. Most believe Lizzie and her sister, Emma, didn’t want their step mother to gain the family fortune once their father passed on, however there have been reports from psychic medians that believe Lizzie was in fact molested by her father for years and only murdered him to put a stop to her abuse. On the night of our investigation at the Borden residence I was eager to use this opportunity to ask Mr. Borden about these rumors. Though as I tried to communicate with him I suddenly felt ill. For the first time ever I witnessed how dangerous provoking could be.

Before I could even finish my question to Mr. Borden my stomach suddenly turned. It was hard for me to speak as a sourness climbed up the back of my throat, I felt like I was going to be sick. I was attempting to ask him if he would like to speak out against the rumors and tell his side. I was actually giving him the benefit of doubt here, and not trying to be rude. But as I became overwhelmed with this feeling I could not continue with my inquiries.  I alerted Chris and she immediately changed the subject to a lighter topic, giving me the chance to collect myself. I began feeling better shortly after, and decided to pick up right where I left off. I announced to whom I believed to be Mr. Borden, that he couldn't scare me that easily. I was determined to understand the mystery surrounding the events that occurred at this location all those years ago. Certain instances just call for more than investigating the paranormal. Even if  its just by a small chance that you have to uncover the truth behind the rumors of the past. How else could you attempt to do that without a little properly used provoking? Detectives don’t just ask nicely than give up, so why should we?

Sedamsville Rectory - Basement Creeper

As we started our investigation for the evening inside the infamous Sedamsville Rectory we headed straight down the steep staircase into the musty basement. This area seemed to be very active for a lot of  people so we were eager to get down there and check it out for ourselves. This happens to be one of the very first photographs taken at this location. Though it is hard to see, there appears to be a shadowy cloaked figure trying to hunker down and hide itself in the darkness. At the time this image was captured I was using a full spectrum light which was seated on my Canon DSLR camera. I was actually trying to take photographs without the use of a flash, hoping that the full spectrum light would aide in total darkness while not causing my poor partner to suffer through blind spots as I flashed away.  

However you can clearly see here how my experiment only seemed to illuminate one half of the basement in this picture. I have several pictures just like this, again I was trying a new technique here. Even though I feel that my test failed to completely illuminate the entire room for the purpose of documenting the entire scene, I think that I was still able to capture something unique and possibly paranormal here. We didn't really sense anything down in the basement, which was strange given all the stories we heard. However all the other ghost hunting equipment, cameras and alarms scattered throughout the basement set up earlier by the owners clearly led us to think that they must be preparing for something to happen. Was this what they were looking for?

I zoomed in on this last image so that you can make out the dark figure that I've captured a little more clearly. Even though we were in total darkness attempting to take pictures with a camera that is meant for use with a flash and instead chose to only illuminate the area with our full spectrum light, I feel this is still an image worth mentioning... Would I have captured something easier to identify had I used my night vision camera? Possibly, but there is also a chance that  I wouldn't have captured anything at all...  You have to try different techniques and equipment while in the field because in the end you never know what is going to aide in your attempts to make contact. I can say that in the basement there was a dog cage and even a metal dog bowl sitting out there on the floor. The image that appears as a person shrouded in the darkness was not a live person. In fact the area all around the dog kennel is pretty much wide open. While I'm not able to determine exactly what was captured here, I am able to say that my attempt to try something different was not a complete failure either. What do you think?

Did I see my Doppelganger?

I've mentioned before how I've had otherworldly experiences as a child. This time I stepped even closer to something with a very frightening significance, all though I was completely unaware at the time. As a teenager I remember a time that I was woken abruptly from my sleep. I sat up in bed looking around the room, stopping only as my eyes met the mirror above my dresser. I was taken back as I realized that I did not completely recognize my reflection. It was my face however the skin that clung to my skull was noticeably pale. Deep, dark circles formed under my eyes and my hair, which is brown, now appeared to have changed to red... I was confused, it appeared to be my reflection, but everything was different about the image staring back at me. I felt detached from this image as if there where really two faces, my own and this stranger. I sat there, wiping at my eyes expecting the image to adjust or change. It had to be that my eyes where just playing tricks, right? But that cold, pale face just kept staring back at me with profound empty eyes. I slowly lowered myself back into bed, but I could not fall back to sleep. That night I laid there, awake with wonder.

At the time this happened to me I had no way of understanding what may have taken place that night. It would be many years later before being introduced to the term doppelganger and even then I didn’t connect the two. By definition doppelganger means a look alike or "a double" of a living person. I first heard this term while investigating at Waverly Hills Sanatorium. Our senior tour guide, Michael, explained that many people had reported witnessing him wandering the empty halls. Refusing to speak to anyone, and ignoring when they called out for him. In fact, they had complained about his rude behavior. However Michael states the image they reported could not have been him as he was with other groups on different floors when these events took place. He firmly believes his doppelganger roams the halls of the sanatorium and stated that he is in no rush to meet his clone. Which is understandable given accounts of individuals over the years meeting their maker after these alleged encounters. The legend of the doppelganger is an old one, and believed to be a sign of bad luck. Some have referred to it as an unfortunate omen with a terrible outcome usually ending in death...

One famous account is that of Percy Bysshe Shelley, an English poet and husband to author Mary Shelley. Percy told Mary he had seen the figure of himself on the terrace of their home and it spoke to him asking "How long do you mean to be content?" Shelley reported that he had often seen these figures while ill, and one of these moments had even been witnessed by a friend, Jane Williams. Some months later, Percy drowned in the Bay of Spezia with no real known cause. So my understanding of a doppelganger was that they appear as full body apparitions, or a figure of one’s self and not something you should be excited about experiencing. A lot less like 5 Michael Keatons working hard to complete all your home improvement needs and more like your outer psyche giving you a heads up that life is about to turn south. I never thought of my ghostly mirror image as a doppelganger because it was a reflection from a mirror and not a figure standing there with me in the room. That was until I heard a story on a very popular podcast called Lore. If you haven’t heard this podcast yet, you should definitely check it out. It’s a collection of amazing true stories weaved into tales from folklore, and the eerie connections between the two being told in beautiful 30 minute segments. The particular story that gave me flashbacks of my own personal experience was that of non other than our 16th President, Abram Lincoln.

In November of 1860, he had returned home after a long day, tired, and in need of a short rest. He settled himself in an arm chair and closed his eyes for a few moments, then opened them for just a moment and in that glance saw a horrifying image in the mirror across from him. He later told his wife, that he recalled seeing two faces staring back at him. One face was very much like his own and the other was his face, but pale, almost sickly looking. His wife was understandably concerned. Having an Irish background she believed strongly in folklore and thought this to be a bad sign. Five years later, Lincoln was shot and killed while attending a play with his wife at the Ford Theatre. Hearing of an experience so much like my own, minus the death of course, got me thinking…Did I see my doppelganger? I had never thought that was how they worked, and most importantly (I say this while knocking on wood, I too have an Irish background) I’m still alive. My experience was around 20 years ago. I’m pretty sure if I died tomorrow no one would believe it was because I saw something unexplainable in a mirror as a teenager. So now I ask if it wasn’t my doppelganger, what could it have been?