Are you afraid of the dark?

Late into the night, you creep through the house. Checking that the kids are tucked in their beds, locking the doors, and turning the lights down. Then you slide into bed yourself and close your eyes. You’ve had a tough day so sleep should come easily, yet you find yourself with an odd feeling as if someone else is there. Your eyes pop open and as they become fixed on the doorway. You realize that you just watched as the dimmed light shining in from the living room lamp suddenly became brighter, but why? It must just be your senses adjusting to the dark, right? Wait... What was that sound? Probably just the ice maker you tell yourself. Still fixating on the door you tell yourself that you have to get some sleep! But as you try to settle in, the thought of what just occurred unnerves you. "Please don’t let there be a ghost in my house." You silently whisper as you lay there in the dark. 

The irony of being a paranormal investigator but then wanting nothing to do with unseen forces when it’s time to close your eyes is somewhat of a joke to me, however that’s been my life for the last few months and I can’t explain it any other way. Having said that I want to point out the work done by Nick Groff and Katrina Weidman. I am a really big fan of the technique that they use on their show Paranormal Lockdown. They confine themselves to the haunted building for 3 days. Investigating 'round the clock as they essentially try to live with whatever situation presents itself during their attempt to connect on this new level. Not to mention that they need to get rest while their there, though I cant even imagine the amount of energy burned as they lay there squeezing their eyelids shut. As I've mentioned before, sleeping on location is not an easy task. When the opportunity to fully rest has been eliminated you easily become sleep deprived, allowing yourself to experience an altered mindset and a detached grip on reality. Not only does their form of investigation grant them the upper hand in communication and documentation, but is also allows them to experience the things that only the people that live with a haunting fully understand.

This is something I would certainly love to undertake, just not in my own home. The fear of being caught in your most vulnerable state is hard for me to conceive. My fear comes from my own personal experience. When I was a child, the house where I was raised had what I sensed to be an older male spirit. We lived in the house for a few years before he made first contact. I've always assumed that his communication started well after we moved in because he wasn't comfortable with my family. In all the years we lived there he only ever appeared to me. I was the youngest in the family, and possibly the only one with an open unbiased mind. I recall once when he appeared as a dark black shadow in the doorway of my room (see where my issue of doorways comes from.) I woke from my sleep one night to find him there. I called out for my father and the shadow took one step back and disappeared.

I could feel him almost every day after that. Like a heavy presence that was always on my back.  The lights would turn on and off suddenly as I entered into rooms or I wouldn’t be able to turn my bedroom TV off without pulling the plug. The type of things you would write off as being simple electrical issues, however this wasn't happening to anyone else in the house. I got the sense he wanted to make me uncomfortable. The last time I saw him, was when I was much older. He again appeared to me in that same doorway but this time as a white mist. Even though his appearance had changed I could feel that same pressure and knew that it was the same presence. He floated slowly toward me and I watched as his misty form passed right through the furniture, and that was it for me! I hid myself under the covers and as I tightly closed my eyes I wished him away. “Please make him go away, please!” He was still there but I never saw him again. I was much less understanding then, even though I still hate being caught off my guard I will not hide under the covers anymore nor will I wish it away. It’s a passion of mine to make up for that missed opportunity to ask questions and learn more. I’m ready, if there really is anything to be ready for.